If you've ever wanted to scream this at a colleague: "Do you know how smart I am in my native language?" He…
Not arrogance. Being underestimated for the wrong reason.
New research backs it up: when someone speaks with less ease, colleagues often like them MORE, they read the struggle as effort, as trying. But they rate that same person as LESS competent, at the exact same time. You can be the most liked person in the room and still not be taken seriously in it.
Confidence is part of the fix. But confidence you perform on top of a real stall is still a stall, the room can tell the difference.
Real confidence isn't an attitude. It's readiness.
What actually works is what you do in the half-second your brain is still finding the sentence. Silence in that half-second reads as absence. An active phrase in that same half-second reads as control. Same pause, opposite impression.
Three I use myself, and German is my first language:
"Lassen Sie mich das kurz einordnen." (let me quickly frame this)
"Das ist eine gute Frage. Lassen Sie mich kurz überlegen." (good question, give me a second)
"Ich würde hier zwischen zwei Punkten unterscheiden..." (I'd separate this into two points) — this one doesn't just buy time, it hands you the lead.
Most people don't have even one of these ready. I train clients until they have all three, at least, live, with me, until reaching for one is automatic instead of a decision made under pressure.
Save this for your next meeting.
Comment "PAUSE" and I'll send you the rest of the ones I use.